© 1968-2062
Alexander M Katrompas

HERE I AM

   Actually I'm not here, this is just one part of my virtual self, the other parts being:

   • Facebook: Strictly for family and friends and anyone that can't get me fired.
   • Google+: Join me, its for anyone because its sanitized for your protection.
   • Linkedin: For bland, vanilla, carefully crafted content that tells you virtually nothing.
   • Twitter: Come on, that's just stupid. You'd have to be pretty lame to listen to me tweet.

ABOUT ME
   •  Feeding: Feed a strict diet of red meat, pork products, and pumpkin.
       Do not feed after midnight!

   •  Habitat: Prefers dry sunny environments but must spend at least 50 hours a year
       completely submerged in at least 20 feet of water, 300 hours per year floating on the
       water, and 200 hours a year in the VIP section. Failure to meet any of these requirements
       could result in death,... someone else's.

   •  Lifespan: Generally considered indestructible and immortal however recent discoveries
       show aging to be a factor. It's unclear how aging + indestructible will play out, we're
       thinking Zombie and this is how it all starts.

   •  Entertainment: In no particular order, SciFi, MMO's, bar brawls, anything in/on the
       ocean, complaining, and picking up heavy things and putting them down repeatedly.

   •  General Care: Keep between 68 and 104 degrees, give plenty of sunshine,
       do not approach from behind and whatever you do for godsake do not poke with a
       stick or startle with loud noises.